The Couch
by Adriana Snow
Summary: The Doctor, after realizing he is not going to find baby Melody, goes to face Amy and Rory. However he ends up a bit too far in the Pond's future than he was aiming for. There is fluff and inappropriate activities on a couch.


The Doctor exited the TARDIS behind the Pond's house with a resigned sigh. He hadn't seen them since Demons Run when he'd gone off to find Melody. That had been a few months ago for him. He'd started out trying to track the young girl from the Orphanage they'd stumbled upon in Florida, but that trail had run cold. He'd done some more investigating of the Church and the Silence, at least as well as he could considering they wiped people's memories.

When he could find no other lead that would help him get Melody and keep the timelines relatively intact, he'd gone to visit the person he was looking for, albeit a much older version. He found River not as obliging as he'd hoped when it came to helping him find the younger version of herself. They'd spent a good three weeks with her dodging the subject between the adventures she dragged him on until he'd finally had enough and demanded answers. They hadn't been the ones he'd wanted.

He didn't find her. She'd found them herself, she told him, eventually. He'd offered to change it for her if she wished, despite the fact that he himself didn't want to delete River Song from history. He could go back in time to when she was at the orphanage, or even before, if she would help guide him to the right time.

Yet, she had told him no, that if he even tried it, she'd hunt him down and shove him into a supernova. She liked who she was. That didn't make it any easier to do what he was about to do: tell the Pond's that he could find their baby.

The door opened to a very angry Scottish woman. "Where have you been?" Even though he had expected her to be upset with him, he hadn't expected her to be so angry before he even told her the news.

"I, um, well, I was just-"

"Never mind," she rolled her eyes "did you at least get the milk?"

"The- the milk?"

"Whatever, I already sent Rory for it anyway since you've been gone for over an hour," she grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him inside. He stumbled after her with wide eyes as she pulled him down the hall towards her living room. "Now you get in there while I try to salvage the mess in the kitchen." She stormed off without another word assuming he would follow her directions.

Not completely sure what was happening, but not wanting to angry the red head even more, he cautiously entered the living room. He paused when he saw the woman he'd just left sitting on Amy and Rory's couch. She was curled up on one edge of the couch, a book in her lap and her hair thrown up into a very messy bun. Her dark green jumper was just a bit too big on her and there was half a mug of tea on the coffee table next to her. River looked very much at home.

"Hi," he said.

"So you forgot to bring the milk." she tsked. Her eyes flicked up to him and then went back to her book. "You're lucky mum didn't murder you where you stood."

"Well, in my defense I don't think I've been told to get the milk yet."

She looked up at him for real this time. "You mean you didn't just pick me up from Luna for spring break and get sent on a milk run because my mother decided to try to bake me a birthday cake?"

"Um, no."

Her eyes lit with interest and she motioned him over to the couch. He complied, moving over to sit next to her. "So you're younger than him then?" she asked. "How young?"

"Well the last few times I've seen you, you've told me I was still 'quite young'."

She puffed out a breath. "You tell me that all the time too."

He eyed her. "How young are you then?"

"I'm in the middle of my second semester working toward my doctorate," she informed him.

"Wait, you're still a student?" his eyes widened. He'd never met a River that hadn't already been a Doctor (unless you count those two seconds when she was a baby).

"Have you never met me as a student?" she tilted her head at him moving slightly closer. "Have you even done Berlin yet?"

"Berlin?" he asked. "What's 'Berlin'?"

"I guess that would be spoilers then?" She'd inched even closer to him now and was peering at him intently. "I've never met a version of you who hasn't done Berlin." She was practically on his lap now.

"Um," he tried scooting away a little bit to no avail. "You haven't?"

She shook her head. "Guess we're both very young." She was actually on his lap now, having somehow managed to swing one knee over his legs without him noticing so she was straddling him.

"Yeah, I guess we are," he fidgeted under her a bit.

"Have you kissed me yet?"

"Yes," his voice cracked a bit, "yeah I have."

"Good then this won't be too much of a surprise." She kissed him then. He hesitate a few moments before kissing her back.

The way she kissed him wasn't the same as the older River kissed him. It was lot messier and she used her teeth more, but it was still nice, especially when she expertly rocked her hips against his. He gasped and she used his open mouth to her advantage to deepen the kiss. His hands settled at her waist and he pulled her closer to him reviling in the pleased little hum she gave. She rolled her hips again and her fingers started trailing down his back. She teased the waistband of his trousers and then slipped her hands under his shirt. Fingernails traced up his stomach. He had the thought as his own hands started wandering that this felt less like two adults kissing and more like two teenagers making out on one of their parent's couch. He started when he realized that observation was perhaps too correct.

"Wait, River," he gasped pulling away.

"Hmmm?" she asked kissing at the corner of his lips.

"This is you're parents couch!"

"Yes." Her hands were still moving under his shirt trying to distract him.

"We are not doing _this_ on you're parent's couch!"

"Oh, calm down," she demanded with an eye roll. "We're not going to actually have sex on it. I have enough shame to not fuck someone on my parent's couch."

He appraised her for a few moments. "That's a lie," he stated.

Her eyebrows rose and she gave him a crooked smile. "Is that a spoiler?"

"No that not a spoiler," he told her flailing a bit. "We have not nor will we ever have sex on your parents couch. Don't get any ideas!"

"Funny, that's what you said about the closet," she said idly.

"Closet? What clos-?" But, she apparently had gotten impatient with his questions because she cut him off with her lips and shifted her hips again. He lost his train of thought, his hands reaching up and tangling in her hair. He should be protesting, he knew. There was a very important reason why he should be pulling away and making her keep her hands to herself, but he couldn't quite remember what it was until he saw a red blur out of the corner of his eye.

"Bad." Amy gave the back of River's head a whack with a dishtowel. River hopped off him, retreating to her side of the couch. "What did I say?" Amy asked waggling her finger at her daughter. "I said: no communal seating areas, no dining areas, and no washing machines. Could I have been any clearer?"

River rolled her eyes with an unrepentant smile. "We weren't going to actually do it."

Amy's eyes narrowed and she began smacking her daughter with the dishtowel again. "You're. A. Liar. I. Have. Known. You. In. Your. Past. Present. And. Future. And. That. Will. Always. Be. A. Lie." River was laughing by the end of it with dish suds in her hair.

"Why am I the only one getting hit with a dish towel?" she complained.

"Because you were the instigator," Amy replied, her hands on her hips.

"You don't know that."

"You were on top of him!"

"Good point," River conceded, eyes sparkling.

"Not that he's completely blameless." She turned on him, "Aren't you supposed to be the adult?"

"Sorry," he said quietly and River smirked at him from behind her mother's back.

"Ugh," she fell back into the lounge chair across from them, "I thought when you regenerated into an adult, I wouldn't have to deal with teenage hornyness, but I was wrong."

The Doctor started in surprise. River could regenerate? He'd known she had Time Lady in her, but he hadn't known she had enough for that. He contained his excitement the best he could. Amy didn't notice his slight change in demeanor, but River glanced at him curiously before realizing what had happened. She winked at him, but otherwise ignored it turning back to Amy.

"Aren't you supposed to be baking me a birthday cake?"

"You're father decided to take over since I've already destroyed three," Amy replied.

"Oh, thank goodness." A pillow flew through the air to hit River in the face.

"So where did you go instead of getting milk?" Amy asked the doctor curiously.

"I haven't ever actually been sent to get milk," he replied.

"What?"

"He's younger, mum," River informed her, "this one hasn't even done Berlin yet."

Amy's eyes flickered to him and understanding crossed her face. "Oh."

River looked like she was about to comment on the weird lilt to her mother's tone, but then Rory came into the living room. "The no longer a surprise, surprise birthday cake is in the oven," he announced.

"And since he made it, it might actually be edible," River murmured to the Doctor.

"I heard that!" There was a few more minutes of bickering between mother and daughter with Rory occasionally rolling his eyes at them. They were comfortable together, The Doctor noted, acting like a regular family unit even though the daughter looked older than her parents did. It soothed his conscious more than he thought it could be.

"Hey, Raggedy Man, can I talk to you in the kitchen?" Amy asked him after a few minutes.

"Sure," he replied getting up to follow her.

She turned when the door shut behind him. "So since you don't seem completely stunned by River calling me mum, I'm guessing you've just done Demons Run."

"Yes. I did," he answered.

"Stop looking for her," Amy said.

"What?"

Amy took a deep breath. "Stop looking for Melody. I don't want you to find her."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because if you find Melody then you erase River," he opened his mouth to speak, but she forged onward. "I know you could find her if you tried hard enough and at the beginning I would have insisted that you did because I wanted my daughter back. I wanted my baby and I still do." She hesitated. "I loved Melody, but I love River too. Not only that, but I like River. I never got to know Melody, but I've gotten to know River and she's wonderful and brilliant and a bit mad and she doesn't deserve to be erased. I lost my baby; I lost my daughter, but I got her back and it's not the same, but it's good. Just, don't look for her. I'll be mad; I'll be heartbroken, but I'll deal with it and it'll all be worth it in the end. Don't erase my daughter."

He observed her once she'd finished. She looked ready for a fight, as if he was going to argue with her. "I wouldn't have anyway," he admitted quietly.

He was somewhat surprised when her shoulders relaxed. "Good. That's good," she told him. "You always pick her over me, you understand?"

He nodded once.

"Well, then," she sighed. "You should probably be leaving then so future you can come back."

"What, I don't get cake?" he asked whining a little bit. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Just because Rory is able to produce a cake that won't immediately kill you doesn't mean it's something you want to be forced to eat twice," she informed him, "trust me."

"Fine," he pouted, "kick me out for an older version of myself."

"Will do," she flashed a grin at him, "make sure to say bye to River before you go though. It'll mean a lot to her."

"Yes, Pond."

She nodded at him and then turned to go back into the living room. "Oh, and Doctor," she said turning back to him for a moment."

"Yes?"

Her eyes sparkled with the same mischief that her daughters often did. "Make sure your goodbye with my daughter does not involve my couch."

**AN: **Hope you liked it. Tell me if there are any glaring mistakes.


End file.
